The X Factor.....FFS!

I know I moan a lot so I think my blog is probably the best place to organise my thoughts and set the world to rights, without bothering people who simply don't care. That way anyone that does care can look at the blog at their own discretion and I won't piss them off with my incessant ranting.

I got a facebook message from Chris Hollis (lead singer, Frog Stupid / Scream!Shout!SayNothing!) the other day about the new cover versions of Hallelujah and the presenters on the radio seemingly not knowing anything about its origins or even its more recent history.
First off, Hallelujah is a beautiful song. It's one of the few songs that was actually worth being covered the sheer number of times it has (which incidentally is well over a hundred, and that's just in the 'popular' circles). Hallelujah was originally written in 1984 by Leonard Cohen. Originally a work filled with biblical imagery; however, later cover versions tended to make it more of a love song with sexual undertones. Indeed, Jeff Buckley, when talking about his version of Hallelujah (arguably the most famous, or at least the most popular cover) said in an interview with Rolling Stone that his version was about the Hallelujah of the Orgasm. Buckley's rendition of the song is widely considered to be the definitive edition as it rarely changes from recordings to stage performances. Indeed it is normally Buckley's version that is used when other artists endeavour to cover the song. Cohen's original is often overlooked due to its numerous versions and undefined lyrical objective. In fact, that's really what I want to talk about. I could go down one of two very interesting roots (well, interesting to me at least...). The reason for the Buckley version being so popular and so much more well known than the original version could be either due to the fact that Buckley's song was featured on the hugely popular film, Shrek, among other films etc.; or it could be down to the vulgar, yet all-too-likely fact that Cohen's version is an almost abstract, poetic study using biblical references and melodic devices, and Buckley's edition is to do with sex. I suspect that up to 2001, when Shrek was released, the reason was more to do with the content of the two different versions. But since the Shrek franchise popularised the newer version, it has been the former. Due to the fact that the Shrek demographic is very close to the target audience of popular music in general - especially the vast monolith that is The X Factor, the original Cohen version is almost completely masked by Buckley's rewrite. Whether or not this is a good thing is completely open to debate. That's not what I'm going to argue about today. Although I will say that one should at least be aware when a particular song they are hearing is not the original version of that song, especially when it is a cover of a cover. Or, in the case of the most recent outing, what I suspect to be a cover of a cover of a cover.
I am talking, of course, about Alexandra Burke, the recent winner of X Factor. Having raised this lucrative topic, I will try to be fair and just about it, but anyone who has listened to me talk for more than five minutes (especially recently) will know how I feel about reality television and all those fast-track to fame shows, most importantly X Factor. God I hate that show. Anyway, Simon Cowell and his label, Syco, have released Burke's cover of Hallelujah, advertised as the 2008 X Factor winning single, just in time for it to slip into the much coveted Christmas Number One spot. Most people who have heard this song appear to be under the impression that it is a cover of a Rufus Wainright or Jeff Buckley song. OK, so the arrangement does appear to be a reworking of Buckley's rework, but it seems so wrong that no-one knows that the original, beautiful Cohen composition even exists! This is what Mr. Hollis was getting so worked up about when listening to the Radio Heartbeat presenters discussing the Cohen classic, stating, "Oh, I know that. It's that song from Shrek!" and "That Jeff Buckley track." Philistines.
Now, I won't lie. I knew that Alexandra Burke was going to get Christmas Number One slot, but it didn't stop me from screaming at my radio as Scott Mills announced it. Having bitched about the ignorance of the general public, that's not actually why Burke's number one get's me so mad. Even the fact that the latest version is purely a cold vocal exercise and not a heartfelt devotion to the lyrical content of the original track is not the main reason for my disgust. It's the fact that ventures like the X Factor are tailor made to claim the moneymaker that is the Christmas Number One. It's a brilliant idea, and on one level, Cowell should be congratulated on his lucrative idea that no-one else has had. But on another level, think of the other acts publicised that deserved to get that spot. It is because of the sheer amount of money thrown at Burke that she got the recognition that she did. Yes she has talent, but it is only fair to the millions of other talented people out there that she go about her ambition like everyone else. OK, so it's slightly more fair and honest than finding a pretty face and saturating her voice in autotune to tailor make their cash cow. But it makes me sick how much of a monopoly this institute has over the number one slot at Christmas:

2005	Shayne Ward	"That's My Goal"
2006	Leona Lewis	"A Moment Like This"
2007	Leon Jackson	"When You Believe"
2008	Alexandra Burke	"Hallelujah"

All X Factor winners. There were so many contenders this year, begging people not to make the same mistake FOUR YEARS IN A ROW!
It is very difficult for me to see this kind of chart abuse, when I have been immersed in many local music scenes over the years, and seen thousands of bands that don't need autotune, that don't need overhyped advertising and millions of pounds thrown at them to show people what they're made of. If those labels didn't throw so much money at worthless artists, then the real talent of this country could finally come out of the underground and make itself known!

Think Positive.

So the last blog was a little depressing for my first blogspot attempt. I think I'd better talk about something a little happier. It's CHRISTMAS! I'm getting a 1TB hard-drive to store all my music on :D Huzzah.

My girlfriend and I celebrated our 5th anniversary this week (We're not married but we're proud of being together 5 years). We stopped in Cambridge for a couple of nights on the way home for the Christmas holidays, seeing as my family live in Bedfordshire it seemed like a nice cheap little getaway.

And that it was! We stayed in a nice hotel...well the room was nice, 4-poster bed (I shall upload a photo when I get chance), television, oak furniture; however, the staff were not altogether welcoming. They seemed nice enough at first but we both felt that we were almost infringing on their property for most of the time. On the final morning there, I asked the waitress for a sausage sandwich. She looked aghast, as if I had requested she eat a puppy for my entertainment. Moments later we heard cries of "A sausage sandwich?!" from the chef in the kitchen. I would have thought it was a lot quicker and easier to make a sausage sandwich than the full english breakfast offered on the menu, but I suppose I'm just old fashioned.

The proximity of the hotel in relation to the city centre was ideal. It was just a matter of meandering down the quaint side streets and walking across the park into the old town, or up the main road into the new town. As it was, the old town was so clean, and there was so much to see there, that we ended up not even venturing into the new area. We did all our christmas shopping at Lion Yard, which was a much more soothing, gorgeous, pink, fluffy, nice alternative to the Grafton Centre. There was a Lush for my lady to get her smellies for the girlfriends etc., and an Apple Store for me to get overworked, jealous, and self indulgent, and many little outlets selling a wide range of Christmassy-type things. Not just the cheap tacky stuff you get in the regular centres.

I did notice that a lot of the people that frequented the old town appeared more than a little snobby. There were a lot more girls shopping than boys, which is not surprising. The fashions in Cambridge are fascinating though. I'm sure it's very similar in any rich people populated area, but the city was so densely populated that I couldn't help but notice the variety. There are definite trends that could be seen in the fashions. For example a lot of girls are wearing those shiny leggings that only work if you have absolutely perfect legs.



Needless to say, a lot of the girls wearing said items did not have perfect legs, some of them indeed far from it. When it was pulled off well, I'm still not actually sure if I like it. The shininess is a little too snazzy and overpowering for me, and judging by comments by others online I am not alone in this opinion. While they are nowhere near as garish and horrific as CROCS (*shudder*) they are still pretty nasty.

Another trend seems to be heeled Oxford shoes. Very much like a heeled version of a Jazz Shoe



I recall despising these shoes when they were in fashion a couple of years ago. But now they're back, I'm really starting to warm to them. I think they actually have a decent heel now, and I think I actually like them when teamed with the whole vintage look. Who knows, I may even get hold of a pair when I finally pay off the logic board fee (But we're not talking about that).

Anyway, all round it was a wonderful couple of days away. I'd love to do it again, although probably staying at a different hotel (which is a shame because the bed really was lovely).

Wow! Three blogs in one day. I bet I don't keep this up.

Love and hugs xx

Poor macbook :(

My best friend and our producer, Alex (mansonesque on youtube) gave me his old macbook as he is upgrading. He said to pay him when I could afford it. I cherished it for the 3 days that I had it. But then, in an incident that could not possibly have been avoided, a friend managed to get peach cordial on the keyboard. It switched itself off instantly. I panicked. I grabbed loo roll and wiped it down as best I could, removed the battery and power cord, and angled it so that the liquid could drain. I left it well alone until the next morning when I tried turning it on. Nothing.

Then my girlfriend and I went away for our 5 year anniversary to Cambridge. I brought the macbook with me, and when we got to the hotel, spent a good hour drying it with a hair dryer on cool setting. I tried turning it on again. The screen flickered and the standby light came on. This was at least a start. So I took it to the apple store in Lion Yard and they said there was liquid damage on the logic board. This would apparently cost 450 quid to repair. On top of the 45 pounds they had already charged me to look at it! Unfortunately, due to the fact that it's out of warranty and I have no insurance, I was expected to pay the full fee. Thankfully the person that got the liquid on it offered to pay for it (I said it was an accident, so she insisted on at least paying half) so I won't be totally out of pocket.

Anyway, I'm currently in bed on my brother's laptop at home down south rather than our term time home in Huddersfield. I have searched the internet for mac parts and logic boards vary in price from 300 - 750 pounds. Except for a couple of tested second hand logic boards on eBay from a reputable american Apple parts dealer. One of theirs would set me back 259 pounds (or there abouts). I thought this might be preferable to the grossly overpriced quote from apple, so my dad and I set about carefully removing the top case (which, incidentally is quite simple thanks to Youtube video guides). The water damage was not quite as obvious as the guy in the Apple Store had made out but it was definitely there. So we cleaned it up using dry cotton buds and put it back together. Of course I tested it but to no avail. Now I await christmas money to purchase the part.

Hurrah.

The legendary rant.

OK, so last year I started a Blog on myspace and ended up only doing one article. Since I'm starting a proper one on Blogger, I thought I'd import the myspace one as a good start:

18 Oct 2007

Pub folk Current mood: optimistic Category: Music There is an occupational hazard that comes with being in a Ska band of any sort. And that hazard is that every time you play a local venue (usually pubs), there is always an old drunk guy trying to tell us young and hopeless folk how it used to be. Telling us that ska is supposed to mean something. In the late seventies, early eighties, there was a very important movement that started in popular music, and broke out into full blown politics - that most of the current generation have either forgotten about or are blissfully unaware of. I am talking about The Specials, and Two Tone Records. Though I was not alive at the time the Specials (along with a smattering of other groups) were doing their thing, I fully appreciate the importance of what they were doing. Racism was rife in the seventies and somehow the Two Tone movement gradually changed public opinion in the UK. (In theory this is supposedly impossible) - Culminating in the eventual release of Mandela, which everyone seems to have conveniently forgotten about. I feel I have to justify my intelligence on these matters every time someone asks what sort of music we play. Usually it's not a problem. I'm quite proud that we are one of the few groups who know our roots. We may play Ska Punk, which to some is a sacrilegious fusion of American Punk and evolved Ska - without the political undertones. But we still know what it means to wear that checkerboard wristband! The reason I'm getting on my soapbox and doing the myspace thing today is because after our regular Wednesday WOBBLY BOB rehearsal, Adam, Brian and I went to the Head of Steam to watch the Jazz like always. At the end a gent came up to me and asked if I played trombone (I was looking after '58's trombone). I explained about the band. He then went on to say - at great length - that we were never going to 'get anywhere' and that we were all too immature to appreciate the genre. I hate the phrase 'never going to get anywhere' to start with, so that got my goat up. It's as if to say the only reason people start a band up is to be popular. Bollocks. Anyway, it didn't seem like the guy was going to stop, so I carried on sipping my ale as he continued to berrate my band. Apparently I should "give up and start a proper rock band like the Hoosiers or Arctic Monkeys". I've got to say, it's a seriously good job Phoenix Breweries make a damn tasty ale, otherwise I would have wasted the glass all over his face. Anyone who knows me will probably know I don't exactly have an affinity with Indie (the shit definition, not the real one) music. It's not that it's wrong, I just don't think it's entertaining. I think that most people who listen to it only think it's good because the Music Industry tell them it's good. I did then manage to stop the gent for five seconds to explain that we weren't in it for the money, but this concept was unfortunately lost on him - as is the way, I fear, with most people. Let me make it all clear right now with the infuriating yet strangely effective use of my CAPS LOCK key: MOST PEOPLE START BANDS BECAUSE THEY LIKE PLAYING FUCKING GOOD MUSIC. There's nothing else to it. I wouldn't really have minded if it ended there. If he'd have said, "Oh fair enough - agree to disagree" I would have been quite liberal about the matter and gone back to my pint. But no. This knuP ensued some more. "I don't mean to burst your bubble," he said, with the blatant intention of bursting my bubble, "But Ska's been done. You need something new to bring to the public. Ska's been done. You think you'll ever have a hit like Ghost Town?!" Well for a start, Ghost Town isn't exactly ordinary Ska. It's pretty experimental. It was only because Thatcher was a bitch that it ever got anywhere! I idolise that song, but it was written in a totally different vain with a totally different political background. The guy was pissed, but something about our band obviously got to him and his opinion got to me. "You're band's obviously a bit shit if you're trying to redo a dead genre. Try something new. Be creative." He said. I hate old people. No that's not true. I hate drunk old people that decide they hate me when they first meet me. "Look," I said, "I'm not having you tell me my band's shit when you've just met me in some bar. Come and see us play next week, THEN tell me we're shit. then I'll accept it. But if you insist on insinuating that my band is a lost cause before you've even experienced any of our music, well you can fuck off." My point is, or was before I got carried away and told some stranger to fuck off like the unbiased pacifist that I am, is that the older generation that idolise the Specials are the only ones left who can inform us what happened back then. The British Isles are right back to the way they were before Two Tone was ever uttered. Well maybe not RIGHT back, but it's pretty shit. It's as if Ska never happened! What we don't need is people telling the younger generation to become slaves to the masses - to play something that's popular; to do everything your friends do; to like what the man tells you to like. The ironic thing is that this band that set the record straight twenty years ago; this band that are so idolised by the older generation, were telling us expressly NOT to be sheep. NOT to follow the crowd and sing the songs that we were told to sing. We need to have our own mind, make our own decisions - THAT is how movements like Two Tone are started. Free thinking and uncensored opinions. Not corporate bullshit and trendsetting.